Blue Skies....

In the past month or two I've incorporated a new theory into my life...the busier I stay, the better off I'll be. I hear quite often that when you're down, you stay busy and it keeps your mind off of it all. So I have put this theory into full-speed motion!
Work, gym, dance, concerts, work, vounteering, dance, gym, parties, friends, gym...that's about how it's going at this point!

And while my body is getting into the shape I would like it to be and my brain is certainly getting its fair share of stimulations, I'm not sure how my heart is doing!?!

By staying suuuuuuuuuuuper busy are we really blocking out the pain or just postponing it for it's inevitable comeback?
As much or as far as I run...it follows me and as soon as I stop, BAM there it is. I'm starting to think that running may not be my best method.
Now some have told me to just stop, confront it, get a good cry in, scream a little and you'll feel so much better! I don't want to stop anymore, how many times do I have to confront something before it will just go away!?! I've cried...enough to fill freakin' Bear Lake, I've yelled, at a pillow, but it was still yelling...yet the "feel better" part isn't making it's debut yet!

How long does it take to heal a broken heart?

If you have the answer, please let me know, so I can pencil it in on my calendar? Truly I know there is not answer for such a question, it varies, I understand, but wouldn't it be lovely if I could just bottle it all up and throw it out to sea or something...I'll so go to Cali if that's what it takes!
I know that all this is for my own good...I hear from those I love and deep down I know it, but it makes me wonder sometimes how long I'll have to wait to know how this hurt equals strength.
The truth is, I'm blessed in a million-trazillion-gazillion ways, and this I know. And I'm mad, at me, for not being to able to pull those million-trazillion, gazillion reasons to the surface. So starting today, I'll end the day with 5 things I love about my life! Seems like something you'd see on Oprah, but Oprah does know everything so maybe it will work! (wink, wink).

But now I think it's time in my life! Time to spend a little time with this girl...

She doesn't look too scary! Maybe, I'll grow to like her!

1 comment:

Julie said...

I think there isn't really a time table to follow or a best way to go about it, one day you just feel better. I tried both staying busy and confronting my problems and neither one really helped. I would be busy all day, but then as soon as I got in bed I would lose it. Or I would try to really focus on the problem, but I would just end up being depressed all day. Finally, I just quit worrying about what to do and how to feel and after a few weeks I started to feel better. Now, there are still times when something will come up and I'll get sad, but for the most part I feel good 90% of the time. So don't worry, you will get there.