Dress Me Up Contest Announced!

I am needing a little uplift, how about you? So I have a SUPER FUN contest for all my S&S friends to participate in. At least I think it's pretty dang fun and the best part, there is something in it for BOTH of us!

How would you feel about a $50 gift card to your FAVORITE clothing store? I thought you might like that. Here's how you can win it...

I have a conference coming up (the 2013 NFB National Convention) in Orlando, Florida. At the end of the convention there is a fabulous banquet where you get to get all dresses up, have a fancy dinner and hear from leaders in blindness.

SO what does this have to do with you winning $50 bucks? Well, I will tell you now...

I need a fabulous dress for the occasion and I need your help. I want YOU to pick my dress. That's right I want you to do some virtual shopping for me! Whoever picks the winning dress gets a $50 gift card to the clothings store of their choice. Sweet deal, right!?!

Here's the rules (I know I hate rules too but such is life):

1. Each person is allowed three submissions, meaning three dress choices.

2. THE DEADLINE TO SUBMIT IS JUNE 1ST!

3. The dress must be under $150. So yep, you have to be a bit frugal.

4. All selections need to be within the United States, for shipping purposes.

5. You cannot use any of the dresses on my Pinterest page. Feel free to look at styles I like but it would be cheating if I let you actually use one. *smile*

Now those rules aren't too bad!

Here's a few tips and suggestions that might help you in the process....

1. I am a pretty modest dresser meaning I don't want anything too low cut, strapless or short!

2. I like pretty much any color in clothing but I do tend to lean toward bright colors.

3. I am between a size 6 and 8.

4. I am not partial to short or long, I like either, as long as it's not too short.

Here's how you can win with your submission:

1. First, you must like our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SlateandStylish

2. If you share this page or our Facebook page, on Facebook or Twitter, and one of your friends is the winner, you will get a $10 gift card to iTunes!

3. You can submit your picture by posting it to the S&S Facebook Page  (include the link please) or by emailing it me at deja.powell@gmail.com.

*Remember to "Like" us on Facebook first and then submit your photo(s).

Now it's time for you to Dress Me Up! I will debut the winning look on July 6th at the NFB Banquet. I will also post a picture that night of the winning selection.

Remember that there is a $50 gift card to the winner to the store of your choice!

Now get to work and dress me up!

A Day Without Color

Growing up in the house that my dad built, we had this little garden, rather this row of flowers that grew in our front yard that my mom and dad had nicely landscaped. Every year they planted these bright orange and yellows flowers, I have not idea what kind of flowers they were (I think maybe mums), I just remember them being very bright and I loved see them everyday! I have always had a fascination with bright colors, probably because with my eye condition, I can only really see bright colors. Makes sense I think.

I continue to love bright colors, I wear them often, I decorate with them, I am drawn to them in almost any situation. They make me feel colorful, bright, hopeful and energized, I'm a big fan of loud colors!

Yesterday was one of the darkest days of my life...

We had an appointment with our fertility doctor yesterday. It was THEE appointment to determine whether we would continue trying to get pregnant on our own (with medication), through Artificial Insemination or through In-vetro Fertilization (IVF) (We talked about this in a previous post)..

We first met with a financial counselor and that alone made me nauseous beyond words. These prices they were telling us seemed unreal to me. I heard $2,000, $12,000, $20,000....I felt like I was in some surreal movie where OTHER people had this kind of money and can fork it over. I know you can't put a price on children but when it comes down to it, that's your only option, you still have to have that kind of money somewhere, it just seemed so unfair and unreasonable to me.

After our money meeting, we sat out in the waiting room. We talked about trying on our own for a few more months so we could begin saving, we talked about trying Artificial Insemination first (because it's significantly a cheaper route), we talked about all these options. Then it was time to go back for my test...

It was a test to see if my fallopian tubes were open. Now, I'm going to explain the procedure so if you don't want to hear this, skip to the next paragraph, BUT, I am going to share it because I know I would have rather liked knowing what I was getting into before this happened. It's simple, it's basically an x-ray where they inject your fallopian tubes with a dye and see if the dye pushes through them. Kind of like a plumbing test but for your body. In order to do this they stick a catheter into each tube, then they push the dye through. It's a pretty simple procedure and relatively painless UNLESS your fallopian tubes do not work. I handled the first stages quite well, but when they pushed the dye through I suddenly had excruciating pain run through me. I started sweating and crying and told the doctor I was about to faint, cause I was, I know the sensation all too well. So they immediately stopped, they were nearly done with the procedure at that point anyway...

I laid on the table in tears shocked by the whole situation and what I was going through, I remembered the doctor telling me that it would hurt worse if the tubes were closed, but maybe I was just a big baby...

After looking at the pictures for a few minutes (maybe only a few seconds it just seemed like forever) she told me that neither of my tubes work and worse off, she didn't get the pictures she wanted so we were going to do it again. The second time I stayed strong, physically at least, but cried through the whole thing. She re-affirmed to be after round two that neither were working. I was like a robot was talking to me, I heard what she said but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I felt queasy again... I had been told many, many times that as long as one tube was working there was hope I could pregnant on my own. Knowing full well what that meant for me, I still asked her, "So what does that mean for me getting pregnant?" She said, "It means you can't possibly get pregnant on your own and artificial insemination is no longer an option." I knew I had problems going into my appointment but I had hope and now that was all washed away, with concrete evidence.

My world was just black and white now. Nothing seemed to have color at all. I was wearing a  bright blue dress yesterday and putting it back on, it was every shade of black to me.

GQ wasn't in the room with me because he wasn't allowed due to it being an X Ray. He came in and said nothing, just saw the pain in my face. He just held me while I cried, still not knowing exactly why I was crying. The doctor then showed him the images and in a very round about way told him what that meant. I felt like all I could see in that room was he and I and a lot of emptiness.

NOW, the great news here is we still have the option of IVF, that does not require you to have tubes at all and I've never been more thankful for science in my life; knowing that it's possible to create a baby is miraculous to me! But I'm still pretty peeved that THIS is our only option...

Today I woke up seeing a bit more color than yesterday but the world appears differently to me now. Having someone look you directly in the eyes and telling you that you it's impossible to create life on your own is surreal...and heart-wrenching. BUT it's reality for us and we know there is another option. Yet I don't know if I will ever really get over the fact that my body was not made to do this simple thing that millions of women can do.

Orange and Yellow Mums

My hope is that someday I can have a child and we will be able to plant them a super bright garden like my dad did for us, full of yellow and orange flowers and hope!

Baby Dust

I always hesitate to share these types of blog posts but I always go back to the fact that I think I was meant to go through this so I could share my journey. AND, also that I have many family and friends who have supported me through so much along the way and I’m not the greatest and talking about these things, I am more of a writer by nature.

So our journey with infertility continues…

Last week we actually go to meet with a terrific infertility specialist who happened to be in our city for the day. Now this is actually the first time we have met with a specialist on infertility, we’ve seen lots of OBGYN’s and because we lived in a fairly small town before moving to Utah, they were not easily accessible to us.

GQ was supposed to be out of town for the military for our appointment but the skies opened up and he ended up being able to go with me which was a HUGE blessing, it was so nice having him by my side. This doctor was EXCELLENT. He was thorough (he had looked through all my previous medical records), patient, easy to understand, STRAIGHT-FORWARD and answered my ENORMOUS amount of questions. I was quite impressed with him and for the first time this infertility stuff sort of made sense to me.

He laid it all out on the table for us…literally in the form of a chart of some sort (I couldn’t see it but GQ seemed to find it helpful). He told us our odds of getting pregnant on our own were around 10 percent, not great stats but at least someone finally laid it on the line for me. He told us our next two options were Artificial Insemination and In-vetro Fertilization (IVF).

 I will TRY to explain it to you the best way I can, which FYI isn’t elegant…

Artificial Insemination involves putting sperm inside the woman with a turkey-baster type device (I’m pretty sure that is not the official name). They often give the women medicine to increase the number of eggs she produces in hopes it moves along the process. It’s about $600-$800 a pop!

IFV involves a bit more work. They (the sperm/egg mixer people) take the women’s eggs and the man’s sperm and mix them together in a lab and try to develop an embryo from these two things, THEN implant it into the women. It’s a hand-crafted procedure really. It however is about $10,000 a pop! (And surely we all have a few $10,000 lying around, right!?!)

These are our two REAL options at this point. Well, there is one more we’d highly consider…

Fairy sprinkling baby dust.
 

 

That’s not to say I will EVER really give up on the idea we can get pregnant on our way someday, I’ve seen it happen to many friends after years of trying unsuccessfully. Plus, mentally and emotionally I’m not sure it’s possible for me to ever really give up that hope. However, we have to face the fact it may not come naturally for us.

Both these procedures are expensive and substantial but worth it if we get the final result. However, there is much to consider in our case. I have one, maybe even two, fallopian tubes that aren’t working well. One, in fact, was not working at all last check and may just need to be removed. We will find out in the next two weeks if I have one, two or no tubes to work with. If they both are not working, there is still hope but our chances of success are much higher if I have at least one to work with. Send good Fallopian tube vibes my way if you don’t mind.

For both GQ and I the reality really sunk it last week, for the first time we both felt like this was all real, that we were actually “one of those” couples who are the uphill climb to trying to get pregnant that infertility in our lives had just became REAL, yep, it’s REAL LIFE for us. GQ said when we walked outside after our appointment, “Wow, the world just looks so different now.” I felt the same.

For those who have dealt with this in the past, are dealing with it now or have an inclination that this might happen to them, the emotions you experience are so different than any other thing you’ve dealt with in life. For some being a parent is not what they want, and that’s perfectly okay, but when it’s what you’ve wanted for as long as you can remember the reality that something so natural has to become so un-natural, has to be crafted and scienceified (new word that I am liking quite frankly), it is a little heart breaking.  You go through phases of sadness, hope, disappointment, resentment, anger, insecurity and fear. You want to believe that this is, “happening for a reason” that “it’s just not time,” but that doesn’t always soothe the pain.
 

I’m learning that while this is always on the fore-front of my mind, life goes on. There are other things in my life that need improvement; that I need to work on. I am trying to push myself beyond what I know I’m capable of and push myself in new ways.

Me doing an "I love life" leap on a hike through Snow Canyon National Parik 2013

I’m trying to use this time to strengthen my marriage, after all that’s the cornerstone to our future family anyway. I’m trying to advance myself in my education, as much as possible. I’m trying to support causes that are important to me and participate more in community activities. I’m trying to take better care of my body by exercising and SOMETIMES eating healthier (throw in an occasional dozen cupcakes or so). I feel like focusing on these things will only strengthen me as a person….right!?!

And lastly you have to laugh about it every now and then…

Picture of Sweet Brown, caption says, "Infertility, Ain't nobody got time for that!

Where we are going next, we aren’t sure. We seek advice from others who have or are going through what we are, we truly treasure that advice. We pray and we plan the best we can for whatever step is next. Again, I want to document our journey not only for myself but maybe for someone else too.

 

When a Heart Breaks

There are few things that I know to be absolutely, 100 percent, without a doubt, no-strings-attached TRUE....

I don't normally talk about religion, spirituality, beliefs on this blog but today I feel compelled to do so.

That two thing I know to be true are the strength of the human heart the power of prayer.

In my life I've gone through a lot of heart break in various situations in my life, as have all of you. Our degrees of heart ache vary but we have all been there and once we've been through it it never really leaves us. I believe our heart's are a super strong muscle and can endure much and even can be broken time and time again and yet they still work. I am a firm believe that hearts can literally be broken -- and can just as literally be healed.

It may seem crazy to some but for me, this is what I know. Some pains our so intense that you literally feel your heart break. I woke up this morning in tears, for many reasons but my heart was just hurting for lots of people in my life and for some things in my own life. I turned on Pandora while I cried for a few minutes (I've learned it okay and actually good for me to cry every now and again). A song popped up on Pandora that brought me to my knees, lirerally. I felt this over-whelming spirit of comfort and heart ache fill the room all at once. I'd never heard this song before but it truly touched me so I had to share...



Many times in my life I have been confused about my religious beliefs, where I belong in the scheme or where I attend church or what I believe on various levels and at various times in my life but one thing that has always stood constant. When I pray, it works. I have seen my prayers answered far more times than I ever really deserved. Recently, my mind has been confused but I have tried to focus on the one thing I know for sure, that I CAN pray for comfort and guidance.

The results have changed my world and have helped me realize that the answers will come, that I need to pray more for others than myself and that no matter how full your head is, there is comfort in prayer or conversation with whom/what ever guides your life.

When a heart breaks, it will heal. Not today but it will. When you don't know what else to do, pray, seak guidance in whatever it is you choose to seak guidance in. I don't know a whole lot, but this I am certain of.


Photo: Prayer, the world's greatest wireless communication.
 

Licensure for O and M Instructors

March 28, 2013

To the Members of the New York State Legislature:

The National Blindness Professional Certification Board (NBPCB) is an organization that provides professional credentialing to individuals who teach Orientation and Mobility (O&M) to children and adults who are blind or visually impaired. We have several concerns with respect to proposed legislation that would limit access to O&M instruction through the implementation of licensure requirements in the state.

The NBPCB is one of two nationally recognized bodies that offer certification to individuals who teach O&M. In order to seek certification, an individual must first provide proof of professional training in the area of orientation and mobility. Before an individual can apply for certification, verification of that individual’s competence in teaching must be obtained by a qualified person. Only once all of these requirements are met can an individual apply for NBPCB certification. The certification process itself then takes the applicant through adherence to a code of professional ethics and a rigorous written and performance evaluation that is graded by a minimum of three (3) National Orientation and Mobility Certified Trainers.

No level of certification or licensure can guarantee continued competence or ethical conduct, but we work continuously to insure that the highest standards are met and upheld. The proposed licensure cannot come close to this level of scrutiny, and has several additional problems that go against its adoption, not the least of which is the fact that licensure will reduce the number of qualified O&M instructors in New York. We are specifically voicing our opposition to:
NY S.3880 (Griffo) - AN ACT to amend the education law, in relation to the licensing of licensed orientation and mobility specialists and licensed rehabilitation teachers.

We are concerned by the requirement that, as a condition of licensure, the individual must hold at least a baccalaureate degree (or an academic certificate equivalent to a baccalaureate degree). While most O&M professionals hold a baccalaureate or master’s degree, neither national O&M certifying body requires that an individual hold a baccalaureate degree as a condition of certification. To do so would limit the number of trained and experienced individuals who will be able to provide O&M instruction in New York.

The NBPCB offers two paths to certification: (Category A) the Successful completion of a master’s degree in O&M; or (Category B) the successful completion of a supervised apprenticeship program. Individuals certified under the approved apprenticeship program may or may not hold a baccalaureate degree; however they have undergone rigorous training and have completed 800 hours of supervised instruction. Both tracks (Category A and Category B) require the individual to have successfully completed 480 hours of prerequisite immersion training (instruction while blindfolded). In all respects the ability of NOMC certified individuals to provide O&M instruction meets the highest standards in the profession.

We are concerned that Section 8804(B) (I) gives no indication of the criteria or standard the Board will use to base its approval or disapproval of a university’s O&M curriculum. At best the approval process will be burdensome on the state and will do nothing to insure that New York licensed O&M instructors are any more qualified to practice their profession than are individuals who presently hold national certification. The curriculum of a university program may change from time to time. That means that an individual university may be approved one year but not approved in subsequent years and yet approved again in later years. For this reason, in deciding whether an individual is eligible for New York licensure, the Board will need to determine not only whether the applicant graduated from an approved program but whether the specific years when the individual matriculated were years during which the university program was approved.

An advantage of national certification is that individuals are deemed qualified to teach O&M according to the accepted standard within the profession without regard to state boundaries. Under the proposed licensure bill, nationally certified individuals may find themselves able to teach in any state except for New York. At the same time licensed individuals in New York may find themselves unable to teach O&M anywhere outside the state. Presumably, the imposition of state licensure must serve an important purpose if it is to be undertaken. The benefit of licensure should be greater than the administrative and other burdens imposed by the licensure process. Yet we see no compelling justification for state licensure given the availability of national certification.

Our third area of major concern relates to the examination requirement. The examination requirement is unclear. It appears that the Board is charged with developing and administering an examination to determine the ability of the applicant to teach O&M. Developing and validating such an examination is an expensive and complex process and should not be taken lightly. In addition subsection (C)states that the examination “…may be based on an exam utilized by any nationally recognized accrediting or certification body …” The examinations used by the NBPCB and the ACVREP are proprietary and may not be used in whole or in part without the express permission of the entity holding the examination copyright.

In short the Board will need to develop its own examination or alternatively accept evidence of an individual’s successful completion of one of the national certification examinations as satisfying the Board’s examination requirement. In any event this further speaks to the lack of justification for state licensure. Why would the state spend time and money developing an examination when two nationally recognized examinations already exist? Yet, if the State decides to accept national certification examinations as satisfying the state examination requirement, why is licensure needed at all? It appears that New York will either engage in a lengthy, expensive, duplicative process for determining the ability of an individual to teach O&M or it will adopt a process that does nothing more than mirror the certification examinations that already exist.

We of the National Blindness Professional Certification Board have a single mission—to increase the supply of highly trained professionals to teach independence skills to individuals who are blind or visually impaired. We have achieved this through rigorous certification standards. Licensure in one state is fraught with logistical and political problems and will not adequately replace the rigor of national certification. We need to work to increase recruitment, training, and credentialing of caring professionals, not increase the road blocks and barriers to access. We want O&M professionals to make a good living at their job, but raising the stature of the credential from certification to licensure is not the appropriate way to seek pay raises.

I hope that you take these concerns seriously. We would be glad to provide further materials, testimonials, and/or other documentation to further expand and explain these complicated issues. I trust that you will make the wise decision, and we look forward to serving the professionals of New York who have a duty of honesty, fidelity, integrity, and justice to the consumers they serve.

Cordially,

Fredric K. Schroeder, President

National Blindness Professional Certification Board

Over the Heel: Shoe's for All

My 30th birthday is just around the corner, it's hard to believe it! So when thinking about what I wanted to do to celebrate this milestone birthday, I thought what better way to celebrate than with shoes! I know NONE of you who read this blog are shocked, shoes are one of my most favorite things.

Photo: Life is better with a new pair of shoes.

So this weekend, Saturday March 30 my mom and sister are throwing me a shoe bash! I hope any of my friends who will be in Salt Lake this weekend will join us, email me, if you need details. I would be THRILLED to see some of my friends I have not seen in years! :)

Picture: Hot pink high heel shoe invite my mom made for the party. So cute.

HOWEVER, for those of you who can't join the party, there is a way you can help me celebrate...

One of the things I wanted to be sure was a part of my 30th b-day was that I would be able to give-back in some way. In my 30 years of life LOTS of people have stepped up and given me things, love, support, guidance...you name it I've been on the receiving end. SO for this birthday I wanted to do something for someone else.

SO I am asking all my party guests, and honorary party guests who can't make it in person,  to donate a pair of shoes to be given to a local women's shelter. My goal is to collect/donate 30 pairs of shoes in honor of my 30th birthday.

Here's a few ways you can make it happen:

1. Come to the party and bring a NEW pair of women's shoes to donate.
2. If you can't make the party but live in Salt Lake, take a pair of shoes to my mom's house or give them to Ambree or DIane at the dance studio this week!
3. Ship a pair of shoes to me to donate, email me for my address.
4. Make a donation to the Atkinson Action Fund online through PayPal and write "shoes" in the comment box.
5. Buy a pair of shoes and donate them to a local shelter in your area, BUT take a picture and post it ot my personal Facebook page or the Slate and Stylish Facebook page (so I can count your donation in my tally).

EVERY women deserves a cute pair of shoes. In my opinion, shoes can change the whole way you look and feel about yourself.

Let's make it happen, 30 pairs of shoes for my 30th birthday!

Quote: Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.


Dancing for Fallen Heroes

There is nothing that makes me prouder than seeing local businesses doing things to help our groups and organizations in need. And what is even better that it will be done simply by doing Zumba, that's amazing, right!

Before I talk about the event, I want to share with you a little about why this cause is so important to me and my family. ALL of you know by now that my husband is a veteran. He was deployed to Iraq in 2008 during Operation Iraqi Freedom, thankfully he made it home safe and sound unlike many others who did not, I thank God for that every single day.

He is open about discussing this so I'm not stepping on his toes and I won't go into too much details but GQ had a pretty difficult experience with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It's a very real thing that he experienced first-hand. He got the help he needed and is doing a lot better but other soldiers do not always get the help they need and struggle with severe depression and even (far too often) suicide. The number of suicides in the military, post deployment, is astonishing and heart-wrenching. I won't even get into that today but it's something that I struggle with understanding why there is not more help for our returning soldiers. Sigh.

GQ is doing great today and is preparing for another possible deployment soon and we are working hard as a couple to best prepare ourselves for what's to come. But too many families don't have the chance to "work through" problems because their soldier doesn't come home alive. It's something I cannot even begin to fathom, my heart aches just thinking about it.

GQ lost his best friend in college during the initial surge in Iraq. His picture is mounted on our wall and GQ talks about him all the time. I didn't get a chance to know Rob but I feel like I learn more about him everyday through my husband's love for this man. I am not sure GQ will ever fully recover from the loss of his friend and I know that group of friends has a strong bond to this day as they were truly united by this tragedy. I can't even begin to be there for GQ and help him understand that hurt but it does make me appreciate every day I have with him. Rob will always be hanging in our home as a reminder to both of us to love those around us, every day!

Our wall honoring Rob and Lucas

Rob's picture. *Sorry it's a bit blurry, picture of a picture.

Tonight a local dance studio, Fuego House of Dance, is putting on a Zumba event to raise money for the families of fallen heroes. I love the idea.

"Fallen Hero Zumba event is what's happening tonight at Fuego House of Dance for the families who have lost a hero while serving their country / community!! Only $6 to get in. Dress attire is Military or patriotic. What an amazing way to show our appreciation to those who have lost thier life to serve. Party starts at 7pm."

U.S. Soldiers Honoring a Fallen Hero

Now I know I don't have too many friends in St. George (yet) but I mostly post this as a reminder to keep these families in your minds. If you have the opportunity or resources to help out locally, do it!

I am excited to attend this event tonight in honor of my husband and Rob and all the families that have had to go through what seems impossible to me. 

Add a soldier and their family to your prayers/thoughts/energy, whatever it is today! 

Pretty happily. Decided

I've made a big life decision.

I'm starting on my PhD!

I've been wanting to do this for a while but now is the time. After much diliberation and weighing out all the pros and cons I've decided now is the time!

I have dreamed for a while of starting a charter school for blind kids. I would also love to teach college courses someday and while I feel that a PhD won't necessarily make me any smarter I feel it will help me live out my dreams.

Many of you know we've been struggling with infertility, I want to be a mom more than anything in the whole world but after much prayer I've realized that I can't put my life on hold waiting for that to happen. I have not given up any hope that it WILL happen for us someday but for now I must move forward and try to better myself, emotionally, physically and now educationally.

I'm nervous and excited and NERVOUS, but I know I have wonderful friends, a terrific family and an incredibly supportive husband backing me up the whole way.

I promised this year I would have no regrets (maybe some, "I can't believe I did that's,") but no regrets.

I have made the decision to do an online program through Capella University. There are no universities within 120 miles of me that have PhD programs and I did not feel like another move was good for me (emotionally) right now. Especially with the possibility of GQ being deployed soon.  It's an accredited university and I will travel every year for internship work; it's a PhD in Educational Psychology btw.

So there it is, a BIG decision from I-think-too-much girl! Thank you to everyone who listened to me, who wrote recommendation letters for me, who reviewed my essays who encouraged me along the way, I'm a lucky girl!

I found a journal entry from several years back the read, "Goal: start my PhD by the time I am 30." I start April 8th the day before my 30th birthday!

So here I go, taking a big leap!

Textbooks and pink pumps.

Two Years: Our Day in St. George

I love when I get to spend a whole ENTIRE day with my husband. We did not do anything fancy this year but we had the best time relaxing and enjoying TIME together.

We went to they gym together, he thinks it's sexy when we workout together, so we did.

Then we had a great lunch date at a favorite eating place of ours TwentyFive Main, you must check it out if you are St. George. Here is a fun blog post about this fun and delicious eating establishment.


TwentyFIve Main, Café and Cake Parlor sign.
 

GQ had the Vanilla and I had the Fresh Raspberry, both were so Divine. Here is a list of their daily cupcakes, if you are ever in the area.

Strawberry crème cupcakes for TwentyFive Main

After great Panini's and cupcakes we walked around downtown SG and checked out some of the local shops. I particularly loved a home décor and clothing consignment shop called Urban Renewel, I got lots of fun ideas for decorating and the vintage shoes were to die for (even though I didn't get to buy any).

Red and Turquoise living room décor from Urban Renewal, St. George, Utah

 
 
 
 
 
GQ was in heaven we we stopped by a locally ran comic born store, ComicsPlus which is probably the only one in town I'm guessing. The prices were okay (not great) but GQ seemed ecstatic, the store owner didn't have the one he wanted but was able to special order it for him so great customer service.

Snoopy characters dressed live various super heroes.

 

We also found a quaint little bookstore that was so cute and full of tons of books, GQ would have stayed at The Little Professor Book Center all day if I had let him. They have a huge selection of kids books and a play are for kids and tons of books on lots of topics. We always like to patron local bookstores as they are becoming more and more obsolete. 

Little Professor Book Center sign in St. George, Utah

 We then went to Snow Canyon to release some orange balloons to celebrate my late dad's birthday, we got married on his birthday and I love celebrating both of these big days together. I found this photo on Pinterest a couple of days ago and fell in love with it, it reminded me to celebrate life.

Little girl on a beach, leaping with a bouquet of balloons.

Ok, here's were it gets super sad....we thought it would be fun tor us to re-create this image and we did, and had fun doing it. THEN, I deleted GQ's entire iPad with all our pictures on it. My heart is broken, I'm so sad I lost those images. I literally cried.

After our impromptu photo shoot we visited a local Italian restaurant and I can NOT say enough about have terrific this place is. Piccolo Mondo is a hidden treasure that a friend of mine introduced me to but this was GQ's first visit. He was talking non-stop about how much he loved it. Everything there is made from scratch and the chef, Alfredo is super friendly and will cook to order. We asked for ours spicy and boy did we get spicy, it was incredible.

The atmosphere is amazing, romantic and just perfect. We will be going back often. We love Alfredo and his cooking! P.S. Neither of us like Tiramisu but we had heard it was incredible and that doesn't even describe it, it was BEYOND INCREDIBLE!

Tiramisu

We truly had the best day together and enjoyed lots of local places in St. George. Happy birthday to my first love, my dad and happy anniversary to my last love, my GQ!

Various pictures of my dad growing up.

Wedding Photo: March 4, 2011
 

Dancing Eyes

Do you know about albinism? This is a great video done by, and including, some sweet friends of mine. This is excellent and I hope you will share it!

The THIMUN Qatar Northwestern Film Festival just nominated their film, "Dancing Eyes" for: Best Picture, Best Story, Best Sound, & Best National Picture. Congrats to all these great kids!

High School Confidential

I started using a cane regularly when I was 23-years-old, after attending the Louisiana Center for the Blind. But I wasn’t 23 when I became blind, in fact, I have been blind my whole life. I was diagnosed with spasmus nutens, cone-rod dystrophy and nystagmus at 9 months old, a bunch of fancy words that basically meant I was blind and that wouldn’t likely change.

Why do I bring this up now? Perhaps it’s to appease myself but one of the things I’ve struggled with the most, since beginning to use a cane, has been how I handle seeing people I knew growing up. What are they thinking? “What happened to Deja, she wasn’t blind in high school?”

A few of my childhood, junior high and high school friends knew I was blind, or at least that I had “vision problems” but those friends were the minority. Most of my life my parents and I were told I had “enough vision” that I didn’t need braille and I didn’t need a cane and I was lucky because you could hardly tell I was blind, this is what I lived by. My whole goal through school was to get by with as few people as possible knowing I was blind. I wanted to fit in and be like everybody else and hiding my blindness was the “easiest/best” way to do so.

I have always felt like I was walking this tight wire, this fine line, am I blind or am I sighted? I never quite felt like I fit into either catagory and it was confusing at a time when I was already trying to figure out who I was. I was active in high school cheerleading, newspaper staff, drama club, school theatre, concert choir, etc. I loved being active in school and loved being busy, all in all I was happy.

But I made things so incredibly hard on myself, trying to hide something as significant as blindness was taxing physically and emotionally. I don’t say this so others will feel sorry for me, I was fairly popular and life was good, but there was a hidden side to my life that very few knew about.

While we all struggle to fit in, in our teenage years, I had this thing in my pocket, blindness that added a whole other layer to my identity crisis. I was very much emotional and concerned that I didn’t have close friends, a click, a group that I fit into, this is something so normal for any teenager and on top of that I couldn’t figure out if I was blind or sighted, it was very difficult and taxing to try to be both.

However, I was fighting a whole other battle that few knew about. I wasn’t sighted enough to do things normally, I often tried to hide the fact that I couldn’t see the board in class, that the text books were far too small for me to read and I rarely actually did my school work in class but instead waiting until I could go home and press my face very close to the page, in the comfort on my own house.  I struggled walking through the halls without running into people, or finding my spot during a cheerleading halftime show. I often made myself physically sick figuring out how to keep my blindness as discrete as possible.

My battle continued into college and I event went through a period of time where I used my cane one week and the next week wouldn’t.  My poor classmates must have been so confused it was just as confusing and draining for me too. However, high school is when I remember struggling the most…

I needed such a high prescription in glasses that in elementary and Jr. High school my glasses barely stayed on my face, were heavy, and incredibly thick so I begged my mom for contacts. My mom always understood my struggle and always did her best to support me in my decisions. The problem was, my contacts were thick, incredibly, incredibly thick, so thick that they began to cause ulcers and severe infections in my corneas. However, I was so determined to keep my blindness at bay and I refused to give up my contacts. I would some days be in so much pain; my eyes would actually bleed and I couldn’t go to school.  It’s crazy for me to think now that I’d rather be in all that pain than use any tools that made me different. But at the time it was my lack of self esteem and my need to fit in that made me feel the pain was worth it.

My high school years were good, I am not regretful of that time in my life but I know now that things could have been so much easier for me had I had the confidence to be myself, use tools that would help me and be accepting of my blindness. It is, in some ways, very painful for me to remember that time in my life and how difficult it was for me to hide something that was so, so much a part of my life.  

Today I am back in Utah, where I grew up and where I went to school and I find myself running into, finding people on social media and re-connecting with friends again. I often wonder if they wonder what happened to Deja?

Now I’m confident in saying I’m blind. I am now secure in my own skin, cane and all, but there are still moments when my insecurities sneak in. It’s tough to walk up confidently to someone you knew so well in high school, who had no idea you were blind, with a long white cane. It’s something that might always be hard for me, facing my past, but it gets a little easier each passing day.

To those of you who are trying to find your identity whether with blindness, another disability or just going through that time in your life where it’s hard as heck to figure out, know it gets easier that it’s a process and that one day you’ll figure it out.

To any of my high school friends who may be reading this, maybe a few questions have been answered for you, too. But if they haven’t don’t be afraid to ask!

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Here are a few Deja in HIgh School pics for fun...

varsity cheerleading 2001

varsity cheer

playing the queen in high school musical Cinderella

junior prom

senior ball

Parenting: Answering the Hard Questions

A sweet friend of mine recently contacted me via email. She was concerned about how to educate her little boy on people with disabilities. How should she explain things? What questions should she answer? What does she say to her little boy?

I am SO grateful when I get emails like this. It's refreshing to know there are parents out there who want to teach their children and educate them properly.

I find that when I am out and about, travelling from place to place, there is one general common occurrence. Kids are always curious about my cane and why I use it. I love kids in that they are so hungry for information and want to know all about everything going on around them. It's in their nature to want to know why and how, I love this.

So how does a parent go about addressing people with disabilities to their children?

1. Always, always be willing to answer their questions. Something that bothers me tremendously is when I hear a child ask their parent about my cane or why I use it and then mom/dad just shushes them. You know, "Shhh...we'll talk about that later (in hushed tone)." It's understandable parents can feel awkward in moments like this especially when they know I can hear them. BUT, the worst thing a parent can do is hush their child. Don't be afraid to answer the question right there on the spot. You may go into a longer, more in-depth conversation later but it's important for them to know it's ok to ask. If I hear the child, I'll sometimes answer myself but the parents are the best people to answer because then the child isn't afraid in the future to ask questions.

2. If you don't know the answer, it's okay. You are not expected to know everything about everything. Answer what you can then later do your own research and find the answers. The Internet has become an excellent resource for information that is easily accessible (still be careful where you get your information from). It's ok to say, "I don't know, but I will find out!" THEN go back to your child with the answer, don't leave them hanging, wondering and speculating.

3. Not every parent will want to do this but it's another option. Sometimes children will come up to me directly and ask me questions like, "Why do you carry that big stick around?" Or, "Why are you looking so closely at that package?" I personally don't mind this at all. It's easy for me to explain and I am totally aware that the child is just curious. If they have a question about me, or the person with the disability, let them ask them. Again, this might make some parents cringe, not knowing what the child may ask, but it's good for them to talk to others and learn things on their own as well.

4. Educate your child. There are so many great stories, books, articles, etc. about people with disabilities most are great, some are not, but check them out yourself first and then share them with your child. For example here are some really fun articles, about blind people, that are fun to read AND are great for educating your kiddos:
I Can't See...But I Can Imagine
Freedom 
Beyond the Funny Tree
Celebrate
Imagine
The Lessons of the Earth
To Reach for the Stars
The Car, the Sled, and the Butch Wa
Not Much of a Muchness
Safari
Reaching for the Top in the Land Down Under
I Can Feel Blue on Monday
Oh, Wow!
Reflecting the Flame
Remember to Feed the Kittens
To Touch the Untouchable Dream
Gray Pancakes and Gold Horses
Wall-to-Wall Thanksgiving
The Journey
Making Hay
As the Twig Is Bent
The Freedom Bell
What Color Is the Sun

5.  Don't be afraid to ask for help! Like I mentioned before if you don't know the answer to a question or you're not sure how to answer it. Don't hesitate to reach out to someone who can help. I'm always right across the internet-o-sphere at deja.powell@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading this and for being such AWESOME parents!
And HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

When Santa Lost his Eyesight

*This is a cute little story written by my good friend Alex Castillo adapted froma play from one of my heroes, Jerry Whittle. Enjoy!

When Santa Lost His Eyesight 

Santa winking/

 By: Alex Castillo

Most people know about Santa Claus. He’s the Jolly old fellow who along with a team of flying reindeer and tireless elves, work year round so that on one night out of every year, they can bring presents to children and adults all over the world. What many people are not aware of, is that one year, Santa began noticing that his vision was not what it used to be. Of course, he did not want to admit it to himself, but driving that sleigh at night, and being up there in the sky with all of those airplanes zooming by, made him feel quite unsafe.

It was no surprise when news started being gossiped about in the North Pole that Santa had gone blind, and that he was quitting the holidays. He became depressed, and without his work, he lost his sense of purpose in life. The man was a real sad mess. On one of those special Holiday nights, everything started going downhill and Just got worse and worse. The naughty and good lists were becoming a blur, and he handed out the wrong toys to more than 1 billion people. I know what you might be thinking at this moment, If Santa had gone blind, you would have surely heard about it. I’m not saying this is all true, but was there one year in which you received absolutely the most unlikely gift ever? Well, if the answer is yes, then this story might make a little sense.

After getting home that night, Santa could do little more than lock himself up in his office at the toy factory, and no matter how hard anyone tried to cheer him up, he could do absolutely nothing for a very long time. This is the story I heard last year when I was visiting friends in Ruston, Louisiana. They say that one year after he had lost his vision; Santa came down there to receive training at their blindness center. “He could barely even see Rudolph’s nose,” they said, “He had lost about 75 pounds when he had first arrived, and wouldn’t even touch a cookie.” “he’d get real close to ya when he was talking,” they would all whisper, “Couldn’t tell north from south even if he was holding a compass: bless his heart.” And apparently the entire town knew about this phenomenon. So well-known was the story down there that a writer by the name of Jerry Whittle wrote a play about the whole ordeal, and everyone in town came to see the production.

 When I asked how come Santa didn’t choose Nebraska to come and train, after all, we have an awesome center right here, and it would seem the familiar choice with all the snow we get, howling winds, and freezing weather, the answer I received was: “well, Nebraska? With all that snow up there? He’d be recognized in a heartbeat if he stepped outside dressed in all red in his Husker gear. “They said: “Down here, he’s just another blind guy with a beard.” The more I thought about the story, about this blind and depressed Santa Claus, the more sense it made. Often when people start to lose their eyesight, they feel ashamed, and even worthless. People find themselves almost transforming from a productive and contributing member of their family, or community, to just sitting passively, watching life and everyone else pass them by.

We often confuse the inability to do, with the inability to see. And all that it would take for us to get back into our routine, or even find a more exciting and challenging one is to simply understand that with some blindness training, many doors can open up with the promise of opportunity. Training centers do not create Santa Claus’s. But they can help Santa figure out how he can do his job as a respectable blind person non-visually. As I recall, the play ended with Santa making the decision to keep the toy factories open and to stay in the Job as Santa Claus, and arriving at the North Pole to continue his yearly duties, with some new blindness skills and alternatives. It was a true happy ending. But the people in Ruston tell a different story. They say that he didn’t go back to the North Pole right away. “Oh, he had some trouble with the training,” they said. At first, he was always lifting those sleep shades. They said he would use the excuse of being overheated to lift them and peek during every class. He didn’t like travel very much, they said: “Oh, Santa, Santa, you would see him just hiding when it was time for travel class,” But what surprised me the most was when they told me: “the first time Santa stepped into the wood shop and heard those live blades running, he almost fainted.”

One would think that someone who has been working with factory machinery their whole lives would be able to handle an arm saw. As time went by, he settled into the center and became an excellent student. But, after training, he didn’t go back to the North Pole right away. He wanted to try out a new career. He went to work at this Cajun restaurant as a cook in the next town. During training, Santa had discovered that he had let Mrs. Claus do all the cooking their entire marriage, but he actually enjoyed working in the kitchen. “Could you imagine that?” they said, “Santa as a cook in a Cajun restaurant?” I suppose he just felt like he wanted some independence.

Like many people after they finish blindness training, he must have felt a bit rebellious and must have wanted to prove to anyone that he could go far beyond the common expectations for a blind person. It wasn’t until the Mrs. Threatened to come and get him that he decided to go back up north. Sometimes the path to independence isn’t obvious and clear. Sometimes, like Santa, we need to figure ourselves out for a little while. Sometimes, blindness gives us an opportunity to learn and make decisions which vary greatly from our past, and that we would have never thought possible if we had not lost our eyesight. And sometimes, we just get a stronger sense of who we are.

But, The first step toward independence, and starting your life, or getting it back is recognizing when it’s time to receive training, and then going through that training in a program that will allow you to fully realize yourself as a respectable blind person. After all, this is our life, and we live through our choices. As for Santa, You can decide to believe this story or not, but the children and grownups are still receiving presents on time and without any strange mix-ups. Polls show that he’s been doing a better job year after year. And just the other day, I read a review about some new restaurant opening up on the North Pole which specializes in southern cuisine. Note:

This Story was based on the play written by Jerry Whittle.

Link: http://nebraskacenterfortheblind.blogspot.com/2012/12/blind-santa-goes-back-to-work.html

Fight or Flight

Today was quite a day for me. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, I'm sure you've all been there.

My friend Meg is one of my favorite people. I love her blog because she's real, honest and well...natural, that's what's so great about her. Meg and I went to high school together but didn't really run into each other again until we were both going through pretty huge, traumatic life moments, we ran into each other in the waiting room of an ICU. I have never really told her this but since then I've felt this strong connection to her...the more we move through life, the more I see the reasons why I do...

I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, but the point is, she motivated me to write my feelings about today...

I stayed up late, like 3 a.m. late, last night working on my homemade Christmas gifts for this year. It was a strange night, one of those nights where there was energy in the air but I wasn't sure what it was all about...does that make sense? 

I woke up this morning and walked to the bank to meet with a financial advisor about lots of things but partly to talk to him about a personal loan so I could begin more in-depth inferitlity treatments (infertility is EXPENSIVE). My phone rang a while into our meeting, now normally I wouldn't answer it in a meeting but my baby sister is due with a baby any day, so I answered.

Sure enough it was mom telling me my sister was in "active labor" (I wonder what un-active labor is?) and I needed to get up to Salt Lake ASAP (Salt Lake is about 5 hours away from my town). I flipped out a bit (poor financial advisor guy) and began making desperate phone calls to find a way to get to Salt Lake in time. This is my sister's second baby, but I missed her first one because I lived in Louisiana and promised I'd be here for this one.

I was able to get a final seat on a shuttle that left in 20 minutes from St. George. Now remember, I don't drive so now I'm frantically trying to figure out how to get out of that bank, get my clothes from home and make it the shuttle station, which is about 15 minutes from where I was. Needless to stay I made my shuttle thanks to the amazing banker guy who offered to take me, and ZERO luggage, just whatever I had, but I made it.

The five hour drive to Salt Lake was like this mega-storm of emotions for me. I was SO excited to finally have a new niece. I was freaking out about actually watching someone give birth. I was anxious the whole way hoping I'd make it on time. And another thought crossed my mind...a thought initally I shut out because I figured it to be super selfish. How was I going to handle seeing my sister deliver and then hold a tiny baby when my heart has been at its deepest aching point about not being able to have a baby myself?

I felt horrible, selfish, angry with myself that this EVEN crossed my mind. MY SISTER'S HAVING A BABY, THAT'S AMAZING! But I couldn't shake it....

I made it, literally, 30 minutes before my sister delivered my sweet niece Maycee. It was an incredible experience and my sister was an absolute champ! It was the most miraculous thing I've ever seen, bringing a new life into the world. She was perfect, and beautiful at 6 ibs. Perfect.

I watched my sister and brother-in-law and they were so perfect and loving and sweet with one another it was so special. I was so joyful for them and this amazing addition to all our lives. Then suddenly the heartache from earlier that day dropped on me. It felt horrible. I felt horrible for feeling bad for myself at this incredible moment, but it was such a dark and over-powering feeling for me.

I walked out to the waiting room, mostly so other family members could come in and I sat on a bench and cried. I cried really hard. All I could think was, "What if I never get this chance?" "What if I never get this joy for myself?" The whole time I battled with myself in knowing how selfish I was being at this very moment. I hated myself right then for feeling this way. I wanted to run away and hide from myself.

A few minutes later...I wiped up my tears and walked back into that room and watched my sister feed my beautiful niece. Then our sweet little Maycee suddenly stopped breathing. My heart fell to the floor.

The nurse did everything she could to get sweet Maycee to breath. It was such a heart-wrenching moment watching my little sister lay there unable to do anything while they worked on her own daughter. My saddness turned to anguish for my sister so quickly, it was awful. The nurse gave Maycee oxygyn and stabalized her enough to move her to the NICU but in a moment our whole world seemed to fall out from under us.

Sweet Maycee got stronger as the night went on and she continues to get stronger...she's not out of the woods yet but things are looking better and she's a strong little girl, you can sense that just by holding her. And she has the best parents ever. My sister and brother-in-law are so strong.

I struggle somedays to understand why it's not my time or why it has to be so complicated to do something that is supposed to be so natural (having babies) but I know that, like tonight, there is a time and a place for all of us. Life is precious and fragile and not in our control.Our power is so minimal is moments like this, when there is nothing you can do but clinge to hope that what's meant to happen will prevail.

Phew. What a day. It's time for me to stop feeling sorry for myself and love on my nephews and new niece while I have the chance... even if I do stink since I have no deoderant or a change of clothes. They'll still love me, right!?!

A Life Lesson Through Pizza

I have had a couple of tough days; I have been feeling a little down. Yesterday, I went out to get our mail and as I was sorting through it I  found an envelope from my most favorite pizza place EVER, Hungry Howies. I put it on the side, thinking it was just a coupon thing or an ad and continued to sort through the pile of bills. Sigh.

I then decided to open up the envelope from Hungry Howie’s. In it was a half cheat of paper and a letter that said that Hungry Howie’s had decided to give its Top 10 customers a free, large, one-topping pizza. Ok, I was stoked! I know, I know it’s just a pizza does it really warrant and entire blog post? I mean you know I love food, especially pizza, but come one, right!?!

What made me so happy about my free pizza is that the letter states that each location picked the Top 10 customers who showed “loyalty,” “kindness to drivers,” and “friendliness.” I couldn’t help but smile because I have been struggling a lot the last few days and this corporate kindness put a huge smile on my face.

It’s nice to know there are still businesses out there that do the “little things” to thank their customers. Sure, it’s just a pizza, but it’s nice to know people do notice kindness and respect and that people aren’t afraid to say thank you for it.

I learned, all because of a free pizza, that I need to do better about thanking people for what they do for me. I need to start letting a supervisor know if one of their employees is doing a good job. I need to say thank you more often and complain less.

Thanks for the free pizza Hungry Howies! And thanks for the reminder to that I need to say thanks a little more often.

Plus Hungry Howies had PINK pizza boxes last month! Seriously, how awesome are they!

What is it you do?

Many people ask, or wonder, what it is I do for a living. Right now,
I'm working on a starting a new career in the southern part of Utah but
what I do is teach blind people to get around effectively and independently
using a long white cane.

I teach a method called Structured Discovery Cane Travel (SDCT). My
former place of work, the PDRIB just released a great Q&A about what
it is I do and what many others are doling. It's a method I fully believe in.

Q: What is the written or working definition of SDCT?

A: In short, Structured Discovery Cane Travel (SDCT) ™ is defined as the consumer-based model of orientation and mobility instruction that is derived from the collective knowledge, experiences, attitudes, and expectations of blind men and women. A full and complete description of the methods and principles that comprise SDCT take months to convey as graduate students or those pursuing an apprenticeship will attest. SDCT is not simply a strategy that can be incorporated into lessons being taught by those conventionally trained because it is a “whole paradigm” and to adopt only specific elements negates its entire premise.

Q: Why such a long cane? If SDCT promotes staying "in-step" and "in-time" but cane tip is beyond stepping area, how is coverage ensured?

A: Walking in-step with the longer, white cane provides for adequate coverage when the person is walking with his/her back straight and effecting a normal gait. Experience has shown that walking at an individual’s natural walking stride while using a short cane all too often results in not enough reaction time to stop before overstepping a drop-off or hitting an obstacle. Hence, the length of the cane allows the person to walk at a normal pace and to have the confidence that he/she will have sufficient reaction time to respond to changes in the environment.

Q: Do SDCT instructors teach pre-cane devices or AMDs?

A: Because the structure of many pre-cane and AMDs serve as a barrier to surroundings, they limit the exposure that blind children have with their environment. With a toddler, we would advocate the integration of an appropriate size cane for general mobility. During play we also promote the use of push toys that can be used out in front of the child. We strongly encourage children to freely move, explore, and to thoroughly engage with their environment and pre-cane and AMDs devices are not conducive to these ends.

Q: Where does low vision fit into SDCT?

A: This question has partially been answered with the responses to Question 10 and 21. When a consumer indicates interest in utilizing low vision devices, he/she would be referred to appropriate sources. The role of the SDCT instructor is primarily to teach students that they can go when and wherever they want to go without fear the they might not be able to see something. Once they have developed true confidence in the cane and nonvisual techniques, then they can use low vision devices at their own discretion.

Q: When is SDCT taught to children?

A: SDCT principles can be used with children regardless of age. Clearly, the skills taught will not be the same for a toddler as they are for an adult just as with traditional training.

Read the full article here: www.pdrib.com

I {Heart} Veterans

I loved walking to church this morning and seeing all the American flags on display. It
Helped rejuvenate my faith in patriotism (which I needed...maybe we all need).
My view on Veteran's Day has changed TREMENDOUSLY in the last few years! When

I first met GQ in September 2007; he told me he would be deployed 9 months later to Iraq.
I almost didn't continue dating him because I never wanted, intended, imagined EVER
dating someone in the military. It just didn't seem like a lifestyle I could handle.
But, unexpectedly I sort of started falling in love, big time. I wanted to walk away so badly
but I just couldn't; there was something super special about this guy.

We continued to date and GQ was indeed deployed in May of 2008 for one year to Iraq. it
was one of the hardest years of my life. I did NOT understand, by any means, the sacrifices
we were both going to have to face with a deployment. I was NOT well prepared and sort
of jumped into it head first without knowing how to swim. It was harder than I could ever
explain on this blog.

But it was even harder for him, and I failed to realize that at the time. I was not a good
support to him and struggled to figure out how to guide him through it all. I took my role
for granted. We both struggled.

GQ came home from Iraq and it took us quite a long time to mend our broken relationship
and for GQ to mend himself.

All of it was worth it! All of it, to get where we are today.

I'm so thankful I've had the opportunity to get to know more military families and their
struggles and triumphs. I have learned more through being an Army wife than anything
else I've done. Our lives revolve around the military and when they call, he goes. No matter
what plans there may be, it doesn't matter if the military calls, he goes. It's frustrating,
scary, disappointing and really difficult some days. BUT I know it has made our
relationship stronger and we have learned to cherish our time together.

GQ is getting deployed again next year and we are doing our best to be better prepared this
time around. I am going to try to do much better at being the best support I can be.

Right now, this country is in more turmoil than I have ever seen, in my short life. It scares
me, it worries me, it makes me wish more and more than somewhere we might find
common ground and be united as one. It's never, to me, felt more un-united, which is not
what so many have fought for.

I read something yesterday that called this generation the "lamest generation". When I saw
this tears instantly welled up in my eyes. Why? Because, it hurts me to think that's what
some think of our generation; I don’t see it this way, that our generation is lame, not in whole, we’ve done a lot of great things in my opinion.

I just wish the hatred would stop!

I cried last night after reading this because my emotions are very much on the surface
as I begin to plan for me, and all the families in our battalion to face life apart for a year. I have
a husband that by the time he is 33 will have spent 2 years of his life, overseas, trying to
make life better for the American people. No I don’t want sympathy I just hope for a little united patriotism is all.

I end with a simple thank you to all those who love this country, who fight for it, who support those that fight for it, who say thanks to a member of the military, who displays a flag in their
yard, who don’t have to be hateful to have an opinion (remember why you get to express it in the first place).

Thank you to all of you and to all Veteran’s and their families today, tomorrow and the
rest of the days.

God Bless America!

This is a picture of GQ punching a punching bag. This was taken for photo editorial about Veteran's today.

Some Things Never Change

Some things never change!

I was reminiscing about my childhood neighborhood, my friends and the
things we did growing up! It really was a fun neighborhood and we were outside
ALL the time. I miss that in today's world!

As I was thinking back on my childhood, I realized while lots of changes have
happened to us since we were all kids, some things haven't changed at all.

1. I used to be bossy! Super bossy-pants! I always put on plays in the neighborhood, and
of course I directed them. We would sell tickets to our shows and I was a
dictator when it came to play practice, no excuses, you were at play practice or
you were out! Glad I'm not bossy at all anymore...not at all.
Some things never change.

2. I loved fashion from day one. When I was in pre-school I wore a dress to school
every single day. Matching bows, tights, shoes and accessories. I was prissy too,
hated getting dirty and wasn't thrilled to be dressed in anything but a dress or
dance clothes. Everything had to match perfectly too.

In my preschool play on colors I was the color green; we were given a giant plastic bow in our color to wear during the show (which I hosted, for real, surprise, surprise). I did not have a thing that matched my bow so I had my grandma make one for me. Glad I'm over that now!
Some things never change.

3. From an early age I loved to organize things. I would put all my mom's perfumes
in order, I would make sure my dolls and stuffed animals were perfectly in place and
I did not like my room to be cluttered. I spent half my childhood organizing stuff...
including other kids. How did I even have friends? Today, just finished printing
labels for the bins in our walk in closet...sigh.
Some things never change.

4. I was a VERY emotional child! I would get exceeding upset about things, sad, happy, scary… I once cried so hard in Kindergarten, because I spilled the glue, that they sent me home.
I once saw this girl with torn up shoes and it upset me so much that I went home, snuck
ALL my shoes in my backpack and gave them ALL to the girl. Sweet, but a little Obsessive.
Some things never change…except I probably wouldn’t give away all my shoes.

Bridal picture of me looking at varies pairs of shoes.
 

5. Ok, this one's mostly my mother's fault but she used to/still does throw me some AMAZING
(and extravagant) birthday parties. Everyone had a theme (Chinese, Hawaiian, Circus, Teddy Bear, Fiesta…) and I always had A LOT of kids there! Now I can't plan a dang party/event/get-together without some kind of theme. If a party has no theme it makes me nuts (thanks mom).
Some things never change.

I imagine if we all looked at ourselves as kids we'd see not much has changed.

That's kind of comforting in an ever changing world, don't you think!?!