9/4/08

My Rainbow...

(My most in-depth post to date, hang in there).

As most of you know, the last couple years of my life have been...(I'm speechless when thinking of the right word to insert here). But as my Blog Quote says, "Have the eyes no tears, the soul has no rainbow." Well, I've waited a long time through the storm (at least a category 5)...and now
I finally feel like I have
MY RAINBOW!

I'm happy and blessed and at peace with who and where I am. I can't express the calm my heart and mind feel...at last!

It's known that, traditionally, a rainbow has 7 major colors...so here are 7 things I'm grateful for...MY RAINBOW connections per se.

HOME: I've always, always wanted to live in the city...it's always been New York City or Chicago but it turns out my big city will have to be Salt lake! I LOVE IT! i have a TERRIFIC apartment right in central downtown with a beautiful view of the city, secure card entry (kinda like NYC, just wish it was a doorman with white gloves), a pool and fitness center; it's two bedrooms and two bathrooms and it's still a little cluttered at the moment. It's exactly what I've always wanted and I'm quite excited about living only minutes away from everything! I've lost my camera somewhere in the clutter but I promise, pictures soon!

WORK: I have the perfect job teaching cane travel at Services for the Blind in Salt Lake! In my humble opinion, It is one of the most progressive programs in the country and my boss has done an incredible job of making things happen here. I won't be talking much about my job on this blog for confidentiality purposes but I will say....IT'S A PRETTY DURN TERRIFIC JOB!

(OK, I'LL THROW IN SOME SHORT ONES AS NOT TO BORE EVERYONE)

DANCING: I'm dancing again on Monday nights and well...everyday in my living room. Guys, I went through a phase where I didn't dance at all. I sat quietly wishing I was dancing but couldn't make my feet move...my ballet shoes are now out of retirement and it feels good.

A CANE: Since birth I've been visually impaired...but just recently I realized I was blind. I couldn't function on my own anymore pretending I could see. My head began to sink down a little further, my feet shuffled a little more and my confidence fell into non-existence. I began losing faith in myself with every ounce of sight lost. I then went to Louisiana and was around confident, funny, energetic, successful, happy blind people and thought to myself...hmmm...maybe I can be one of them. I didn't regain sight but what I did gain was way more important.

FRIENDS: I'm not talking about the artificial ones who walked away from me when it got tough but the ones who stick with me and love me...even in my darkest hours. You know who you are.

LOVE: I often look at all of your blogs and see you with your beautiful families, your kids and your husbands and I cry often because you're living my dream. I have the fun city life, education and career success...but I'd trade it all for a family like yours. When my first marriage ended I felt my dreams where crushed and I felt like I failed at the one thing I wanted to succeed at the most. In all my success I prayed every night for a rebuilding of hope in "love" and I got a gift...my sweet GQ. He believes in my hopes and dreams, no matter how outlandish they seem, he pushes me to be better, he encourages me to pray and find my faith again, he reminds me to cherish the small things and find the good in all. My sweet GQ came at a time when all I needed was a little light...the smallest would do...just something to show me there was hope. Ironically, his name means "Light," and he broke the clouds in my storm and gave me hope...

FAMILY: My family has been through a lot and I sort of took off to Louisiana right in the middle of all the struggles. My loving family understood why I had to do it, but I don't feel I got to be their support like I maybe should have. Now I'm close to them and I have loved catching up and getting close to them again. My mom is re-married to a very supportive, loving man and she seems happy. My little sister is now Miss Domestic Diva (ok, those who know her just fainted...I'll give you a second...) She makes dinner for her future hubby and calls him at work and they have the annoying...I mean adorable puppies that's like their child...WAY TO SPOILED TO BE A DOG (But that's for another blog). My nephew Iszacc has become my little buddy and stayed with me last weekend where we had so much fun and it felt so good to be with him again. My family has helped so much and are so loving and supportive. They are a big reason why I finally feel joy and peace in my life and are one reason why I finally have...
MY RAINBOW!

***Now TAG you are ALL TAGGED...take a moment to mention the things you are most thankful for and if you're in the midst of your storm...you too will see your rainbow!

5 comments:

Happy Holmes said...

Deja. You are so cute and so inspiring. I am in awe at your spirit.

Julie said...

I loved that post, Deja! I'm so glad you've been able to focus on such important things in your life and make it through the rain.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Deja, you're so cute! You made me cry! I love your posts, they're so filled with emotion and inspiration. You are truly amazing. You always seem so confident, even though you say you don't feel it. Thanks for helping me see my blessings. Thats so neat how you listed yours! The Lord definitely loves you!!

Nika, Travis, Ayda and Zander said...

I am glad you made it through your storm, I knew you would, there was never a doubt. It is so good to see you happy again and I am glad to be apart of you life. I learn from you and am amazed by you. Can't wait to see the place and will give you a call when I am back in SLC. Love you lots!

Katy said...

Deja you have such a positive attitude. Thanks for helping all of us remember the good things in our lives.